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Friday, May 28, 2010

Penis Overload in 3....2...1.....

I got to talking to my Mum recently when she revealed she never really had a bachelorette party. (Hen Night, etc.) And apparently neither did Dad. They spent the whole night alone together watching movies and drinking wine -- and as that might sound romantic to some of you, i know there are others out there reading this feeling appalled.

Although i won't exactly say no to staying home drinking daiquiris and watching The Labyrinth for the billionth time, all snuggled up under the quilt with the soon-to-be hubbs, it's not my idea of "my last night unmarried." -- Then again I'm definitely not fond of having wiggly Penis Antennae balanced on my head with a matching sparkly veil, all while having beer poured down my breasts in a "Future Mrs. Champion" t-shirt. There's just something not all that appealing about having male reproductive organs plastered all over my body while i get boozed at a bar and pass out drunk the night before my wedding. Nope, not into it. But what can a somewhat conservative girl do for a Hen night that doesn't involve Phallic objects and copious amounts of alcohol?

Well I've come to the conclusion that i don't drink. I don't dance. And although I'd love to have the boys from "Thunder from Down Under" dance across my lap a few times, I live too far from Vegas for that little fantasy to happen. So what's left for me to do? muahahaha. I have plans. Evil plans!

Okay not really evil. just, soft. squishy. and full of equally hot men. I never really had a lot of "Girls Nights", but the few i did had usually ended up with bad prank calls and waking up Emma's mom... anyways, we were all too tomboyish to do makeovers and hairdos, and we were all too poor to get group mani/pedis and too embarrassed to go get waxed together o.O Pierced, maybe. Tattoos? definitely. Girl Stuff? never. haha. But now that we're all grown adults (or at least pretending) We've discovered the wonders of doing girly things. (some of us even had to rethink everything we thought we knew when Kaitlyn bought a dress all on her own without being cattle-prodded into the store and forced with a voodoo doll and chains!). So you know what? Why not. I'm going to have a Spa night for my Bachelorette party!

(This will probably also involve some type of "girly" alcoholic drink in limited amounts, and a Johnny-Depp movie marathon... but that's besides the point.)

And... i'm going to share a few secrets with you. Ssshh.. ;-)


First off? If you're not all that crafty (and it's okay, some of us aren't!) I've got a few tips that can help you make it feel handmade, even if your hands weren't the ones to make it. These "buy-it-now" options will be the first link.
If you are the queen of craft, then the 2nd links will be geared towards you. :-D

1. Firstly, lavender anything is perfect. (not the color, the flower). Aromatherapy is one amazing little tool when one wishes to relax and calm yourself. (especially the night before your wedding!) Lavender itself is very helpful in reducing headaches, and calming the senses. Setting you in a quiet, calm, zen mood.
Now you can light lavendar candles, use lavender body scrub, shampoo, anything you like really... but this little find on Etsy made me squeal. a Lavender eye pillow. If you're like me -- you get a headache from all this planning. What better than a soft weight on your eyelids, shutting out any and all light, and soothing your nerves with sweet sweet scents. At $10.00? it's a complete steal. Amazing.
Want to make your own Lavender-infused goodies?
  • Lavender Bath Bombs! -- These are freaking to-die-for. i love these. I've made a batch myself using vanilla and lavender and they're perfect! They make your skin so soft and pretty and fill your entire bathroom with fantastic smells for like a week. haha. (Although it might be a bit creepy to have all your girls in the house taking bath after bath after bath o.O i think i'd put these in a gift-bag for them).
  • Lavender infused soaps! -- Back in botany class (sophomore year, sheesh long time ago o.O) when we were studying essential oils, Ms. Barbee (one of my all-time favorite teachers) taught us how to make soap. (okay we cheated kind of, but it was super dangerous to make it with the lye and all in an enclosed space in the middle of winter o.O) So here's the easy way. Simple, quick, and super customized! (If you're curious about where to get the soap to melt in the first place, try your local craft store. Chances are, they'll have it. If not? google it. you can usually find super cheap places to buy your ingredients needed!)
2. One of the things i seem to always need (and after i buy it i always lose it... i swear there's a colony of these in my closet somewhere plotting world destruction....) is chapstick. Well, whether you're a fan of the finger-spread method, or the stick-method, I've got finds for both.
  • Orange Buttercream Lip Candy -- The name even sounds eatable. o.O "MySpaSecrets" has a ton of awesome scrumptious soaps and chapsticks that are too-good-not-to-try. And (apparently?) according to the feedback, is also edible. yummy!
  • Vanilla Strawberry Lip Balm -- (This is a how-to!) You could totally do this super-easy (and moderately cheap) thing at home and substitute the extracts/oils for others of your choosing. (Just be careful! too much flavoring/extract can be horrible o.O talking from experience here...)
3. What Spa party would be complete without a bathrobe!? Something soft and fluffy and oh-so-comfortable! While i'm sure you could just as easily use one of your old ones, or pick one up at your local bath store (or Walmart... they have them too o.O) These are way more fun.
  • "Just Married" Bridal Bathrobe. -- I have to admit. i want one of these, haha. I've never been one of those girls who want the "Future Mrs. so-and-so" undies, or the "Bride-to-be" t-shirts... but this is too cute. and about 60 dollars? perfect.
  • A more intermediate project, a "DIY" bathrobe. The plus side to this? YOU can decide how large and roomy to make it, how short, how long, what color, etc. etc. etc..... bad side? If you mess up, that's an expensive boo-boo o.O but, if you're confident in your sewing skills (i know i'm not o.O) Then go for it.
4. Okay okay, i know. i'm stalling.... but honestly? there are tons of face-masks and scrubs out there for pretty much every type of skin imaginable! I still haven't found one that's perfect for me! (but that's because my skin is psycho and changes personalities every two or three days. One day we're oily, one day we're dry. One day we'll behave, the next (somtimes in mere hours even...) We're covered in acne and blackheads. Nice...) But i will share with you what wonders i've found... (so far...)
  • Charcoal Detox Mask -- One thing Ms. Barbee always hounded us on, was the use of our essential oils. Teatree oil, Eucalyptis, and Jajoba were her favorites and rightly so! They're amazing for skin and hair and work wonders where you think miracles could never happen. "Wicked Soaps" -- who claims not to be a doctor or play one on tv, haha -- sells a --dare i say? --"Wicked" detox mask including Lavender and Teatree oil.
  • Granny Smith Apple Facial Scrub -- Okay okay, i'm a sucker for themes... But since my wedding is Harvest-themed, this was too cute to pass up. (and yes it's another buy-me-now option...) Sugar scrubs are at the top of my list when it comes to facials, and when combined with the tantalizing scent of green apples? How could one possibly pass this up??? SkinCandy By Tiffany, you have my vote.
  • Cucumber Face Mask -- When i think of Spa days (other than scrunching up my nose and thinking of ritzy people spending thousands on new nails and rediculously priced pampering...) I think of cucumbers. It might be because of cartoons, or it might be because of movies, i have no idea. But this just seems right to me. Also? easy to follow, and probably tasty too o.O Organic man. totally.
  • Chocolate-Oat Facial Mask -- There's nothing better than Chocolate. nothing. maybe sex, but other than that, nothing is better than chocolate. Especially when you can slather it on your face and not feel like a four year old at a birthday party. A simple how-to with simple ingredients. Mmmm.... Just... try not to eat it will you?
Now as lovely as all those tips are, I happen to have word from the woman herself. The lady who actually got me into doing spa-stuff. My botany teacher Ms. Barbee. This fantastic woman actually emailed me the list of stuff we used to do in botany class the week before prom night that made our skin glow, our hair shine, and the boys like putty in our hands... and now? i share them with you all. (Because you love me... right?)

Hair Rinse
(For Dark Hair):
  • Rosemary Oil
  • Jajoba Oil
  • Water
-- Add 3 drops of Rosemary oil, and 1 drop of Jajoba Oil per every 1 quart of water. Rinse through your hair thoroughly to remove impurities. (Can also be added to conditioner).

(For Light hair):
  • Chamomile Oil
  • Lemon Oil
  • Water
-- Add 2 drops of Chammomile Oil (or 1 cup Chammomile Tea) and 1 drop Lemon Oil per 1 quart water. Rinse through your hair thoroughly to remove impurities. (Can also be added to conditioner)

Bath/Massage Oil:
  • Essential Oil of your choice
  • Grapeseed/Sweet Almond/Apricot Kernal oil (either will work fine).
Mix 1 part essential oil, to 5 parts grapeseed, Sweet almond, or Apricot Kernal oil. Seal in an airtight container. To use, Spoon ONE tablespoon into your bath water, or use as normal massage oil.


The Infamous Sugar/Salt Scrub:
  • Grapeseed oil (Could also use Safflower/Sweet Almond/Apricot Kernal oil)
  • White Sugar, or Salt
  • Dried Rosemary/Lavender/Chamomile/Kelp (optional)
  • Jajoba Oil/Avacado Oil/Lavender Oil/Rosemary Oil/Peppermint Oil (Optioinal)
  • Scented Oil of your choosing (Optional)
Combine 1 cup Grapeseed Oil, and 3/4 cup Sugar in a medium bowl. Stir until combined. You can use as-is now, or you can add 20-30 drops (total) any oil of your choosing for scents, or any of the above-listed oils for better skin. (Jajoba - repairs skin damage, Avacado - Moisturizes, Lavender - Antibacterial).

*Do NOT use Peppermint, Rosemary Oil, or Salt on the face or "other sensitive areas". To use as a Face-scrub, use ONLY sugar or the remaining oils. otherwise it will burn like hell.

*Make sure if you are using oils NOT MENTIONED above, that they're approved for use on skin!


Dusting Powder:

  • Essential oil of your choosing
  • Talcum Powder
-- Add 10-15 drops of desired oil to every 1 cup of Talcum powder. (If you do not wish to use Talcum powder, you may substitute 8 ounces Arrowroot (or cornstarch) with 4 ounces baking soda). Mix well and store in airtight container.


And that's all i've got for you today my loves. If you have your own spa-day feel free to post pictures, links, recipes, or stories here! I know i'd love to hear them. (Heck if you post an entire story, i may even make you a feature on the blog. oooh... internet celebrity. nifty.)



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